plot twist: santa actually brings you the naked celebrity you asked for and you have to awkwardly unwrap them in front of your entire family
Totally worth it.
[incontrollable noises of want]
The Promised Land
what if in school instead of raising our hands we raised our legs
When you have a really “good” answer.
- me: do you have cotton balls
- worker: yes
- me: does it tickle when u walk
- worker: -hangs up-